...To have a real boyfriend. I don't mean the romantic kind but the other type. The one you hug but never lock lips with.
This is the guy who gives you the inside track on what really goes on at those bachelor parties and patiently explains why it's important to take sides in Alien vs Predator.
But there is a slight problem to this scenario. It brings up that enigmatic question - can men and women be just friends? Not friends who are secretly attracted to one another. I'm talking about simple, innocent friendship.
Full article here
My thoughts:
Let's face it. We all know how hard it is to find that Someone whom you feel compatible with. Sometimes it's not just the physical or personality factor that determines it all BUT we are also talking about the X-factor >> CHEMISTRY. I can have dinner at a restaurant in the most romantic ambience. And with me, my companion: A perfect (outlook wise) gentleman dressed up for the occasion, sipping wine with the knack of knowing when and how to drop the occasional flattering sugary sweet compliments.
And you think this is going to work seemingly well into a woman's heart. Well think again. The woman (i.e. Me) might be anxiously waiting for the boring dinner to finish and is probably dying to wave at the waiter for the bill. Yes, the companion is talking and talking. He ain't keeping quiet, which is a good point (I can't stand quiet dates). BUT he is boring the shit out of me. At that point you realise, the core substance in keeping the lady's interest intact and possibly pushing it higher, just isn't there. The X-factor is missing. Zero chemistry. Nile. Nada.
I know I'm getting out of topic here, it is my intention to demonstrate that sometimes it takes more than just the right restaurant, right outfit, right words and right gestures to make it happen. If the magic ain't there, it ain't there my friends. Hence, back to our arguement of the above said issue "Can Men and Women Be Just Friends".
For many people the idea of a man and a woman being friends is charming, but improbable. "It always leads to something else," they argue, meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic. It is very difficult for a man and woman to have a platonic friendship, normally emotions get in the way and friendship can be ruined by one of the parties starting to get either possessive or jealous. Will your libido silence while spending pleasant time and having fun and sharing interests and activities, attitudes and values with just a friend of the opposite sex? Perhaps no. After all, in contrast to the countless love stories we come across in the movies, books or reality, male-female friendship are rarely acclaimed or depicted as an ongoing, freestanding bond. Think "When Harry Met Sally". First they were 'just friends', then they were 'friends plus'. How about Brad and Angelina when it became Brangelina faster than you can say, "Chemistry."
Bluntly speaking, it can only work if both parties have set some sort of boundaries / attachments. For example, both parties are attached in long committed relationships separately. (However, this is debatable considering the fact that most Men live by the rule, "My options are still open as long I'm not married", which is total crap to me but that's another issue of its own which shall be addressed if I remember, in my next entry).
Or, both parties already have a mutual understanding of if one of them feels emotions are seeping in, hence the need to sit down and discuss the possible directions of the friendship. I feel, when sex gets into the picture, a higher level of intimacy has been opened up. It's like opening Pandora's Box, if you ask me *smirk*. Do I hear someone say "Fling?" I mentioned this in one of my earlier entries: Definition of fling in my book: Meant to be everything that a committed relationship is not. You do things on a whim because you are never thinking clearly and definitely not thinking in terms of right or wrong -- that is why they are so wonderful. You are fully aware that this fling is not going anywhere in the realm of relationships and that it is simply for kicks. Girls, you should know by now to not let your emotions get involved (and if you feel them coming on, I suggest escaping quickly). And men, since you never have that problem, your only responsibility is to strap on a rubber.
What if I add: Care, Constant Thoughts of Him/Her, Compatibility, Great Company, Comfortability, Occasional 'I-Miss-Him/Her' Feeling and the X-FACTOR into the scenario? And for some reasons, these 'confused' people aren't in an official relationship yet. Would that still be accounted as a fling?
Or perhaps, they have a new term for this kinda relationship:
"The New-Age Fling"
"Fling: Fully Improved"
"Fling Version 2.0"
or simply...
"Love That Never Quite Made It"
Can men and women be just friends - An endless debate it is.
And you think this is going to work seemingly well into a woman's heart. Well think again. The woman (i.e. Me) might be anxiously waiting for the boring dinner to finish and is probably dying to wave at the waiter for the bill. Yes, the companion is talking and talking. He ain't keeping quiet, which is a good point (I can't stand quiet dates). BUT he is boring the shit out of me. At that point you realise, the core substance in keeping the lady's interest intact and possibly pushing it higher, just isn't there. The X-factor is missing. Zero chemistry. Nile. Nada.
I know I'm getting out of topic here, it is my intention to demonstrate that sometimes it takes more than just the right restaurant, right outfit, right words and right gestures to make it happen. If the magic ain't there, it ain't there my friends. Hence, back to our arguement of the above said issue "Can Men and Women Be Just Friends".
For many people the idea of a man and a woman being friends is charming, but improbable. "It always leads to something else," they argue, meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic. It is very difficult for a man and woman to have a platonic friendship, normally emotions get in the way and friendship can be ruined by one of the parties starting to get either possessive or jealous. Will your libido silence while spending pleasant time and having fun and sharing interests and activities, attitudes and values with just a friend of the opposite sex? Perhaps no. After all, in contrast to the countless love stories we come across in the movies, books or reality, male-female friendship are rarely acclaimed or depicted as an ongoing, freestanding bond. Think "When Harry Met Sally". First they were 'just friends', then they were 'friends plus'. How about Brad and Angelina when it became Brangelina faster than you can say, "Chemistry."
Bluntly speaking, it can only work if both parties have set some sort of boundaries / attachments. For example, both parties are attached in long committed relationships separately. (However, this is debatable considering the fact that most Men live by the rule, "My options are still open as long I'm not married", which is total crap to me but that's another issue of its own which shall be addressed if I remember, in my next entry).
Or, both parties already have a mutual understanding of if one of them feels emotions are seeping in, hence the need to sit down and discuss the possible directions of the friendship. I feel, when sex gets into the picture, a higher level of intimacy has been opened up. It's like opening Pandora's Box, if you ask me *smirk*. Do I hear someone say "Fling?" I mentioned this in one of my earlier entries: Definition of fling in my book: Meant to be everything that a committed relationship is not. You do things on a whim because you are never thinking clearly and definitely not thinking in terms of right or wrong -- that is why they are so wonderful. You are fully aware that this fling is not going anywhere in the realm of relationships and that it is simply for kicks. Girls, you should know by now to not let your emotions get involved (and if you feel them coming on, I suggest escaping quickly). And men, since you never have that problem, your only responsibility is to strap on a rubber.
What if I add: Care, Constant Thoughts of Him/Her, Compatibility, Great Company, Comfortability, Occasional 'I-Miss-Him/Her' Feeling and the X-FACTOR into the scenario? And for some reasons, these 'confused' people aren't in an official relationship yet. Would that still be accounted as a fling?
Or perhaps, they have a new term for this kinda relationship:
"The New-Age Fling"
"Fling: Fully Improved"
"Fling Version 2.0"
or simply...
"Love That Never Quite Made It"
Can men and women be just friends - An endless debate it is.