She is feeling very down.
Or confused and lost.
She doesn't know why and how she could have broken down so terribly embarassing infront of the boy last night.
And heck, she doesn't even know why she is STILL feeling so knotted inside now.

Last night, she walked in and saw the beautiful purple deco and silently thought to herself, "This is how I've envisioned mine to be."
She was getting sentimental but yet, she shrugged and held it back like a real tough cookie.
She saw Kelly's brothers and sister all grown up now and she started feeling the connection to them all over again.
Still, she held it back nicely.

What she didn't know was how sentimental she could become, the moment Shania's From This Moment was played and Kelly walked in - glowing with such indescribable happiness and joy.
She was starting to tear.
She told herself, "Don't do this now. Grab that damn tissue for God's sake!"

She held on.
Through the first course, second course, but when Kelly came over and they hugged, she broke down.
"Do you know when you walked in, looking so beautiful and all, I cried?!"
She had loved her almost all her life.
Since they were both in Standard 4.
Same primary (same class all the way), same secondary naturally, and somehow same college as well.

Kelly was then her best friend.
Till Kelly had to leave to Australia to study and somehow they couldn't keep in touch as often as they could.
Or should.
Got a job there, met her boy and now they are bounded together as husband and wife.

She asked the boy how is it that he never felt this emotional when his secondary school friend got married?
He just didn't know.
But then he added,

"You know her since primary, and all the way up till college, you both were together, so that could be why you're feeling so sentimental now. You are right, I cannot comprehend this because I never had this kind of friendship before."

And also, the fact that we aren't as close before because she's in Australia now makes it even more depressing for me, I silently told myself.

Boy added, "And also, I know there are other factors involved that made you so depressed right now. Other factors, not just Kelly."

He's right.
She knows he's right.
She swallowed it all in and told herself, "All in good time."

So, she cried all night in the arms of the boy.
Just shaking uncontrollably as they kept talking and talking and talking and talking...

And, today, she woke up with a pair of very swollen eyes.
Everything... was just so beautiful last night.

***

Note: Just had the sudden urge to browse the DailyBread for today and saw how God's words were aptly put.

Matthew 6:
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what will you put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than than clothing?

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."