general rule of composing a haiku:

1st line - 5 syllables
2nd line - 7 syllables
3rd line - 5 syllables

here some really funny ones. though, i don't see some of them following the general rule of syllable count:

Butt-Head:

That was cool (huh-huh)

When we killed that frog (huh-huh)

It won't croak again

Hyde:

My heart aches with pain

When I see you vomit

Die away from me <---- hahahahhaha i love this one.

The Goodies:

I can't tell string from butter

Can you tell string from butter?

I can't

Kingdom of Loathing:

I hate broccoli

and think it totally sucks.

Why is it not meat?

Florian Gottshchalk:

Sit on the toilette

Enjoying the nice Silence

Isn't it AWESOME!?

so, this is my first one:

here, my first haiku
laugh if you dare and i throw
a brick on your head

and, referring to my earlier post below:

mister tay the oaf
camera and sleeping girl
nostrils galore time

1. i've decided not to take part in the maxis, drawing around the Squiggle contest. i can't draw my Nasi Lemak properly!!! dumbdumb tool with NO undo function so one mistake, and you gotta start drawing all over again. i managed to draw a few others but finally stopped at Nasi Lemak.
   
   
2. my wisdom tooth on the left, which has been growing out since Ice Age is still not fully out yet and it's hurting so bad when i eat! 26 yr old and wisdom tooth is still sprouting out. mr tay said something about "taking so long to get wise." whateverrrrrrrrrr.
   
   
3. mr tay got cute over the phone the other day. he rang, i picked up. he went, "How is baby!" and i went, "Baby is good!" ok, i'm easily amused.
   
   
4. my plant on my office desk is so healthy and cantik. so i must show you.
   

   
   
   

5. took the pic using my mobile and while exporting the pic out, i stumbled upon this pic in the picture folder (while i was sleeping), taken by, none other than the mischevious sneaky boyfriend.

there are more where this came from. all nostril shots.

 Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus lane
Vixen, Blitzen, all his reindeer
Pulling on the reins
Bells are ringing, children singing
All is merry and bright
Hang your stockings and say a prayer
'cause Santa Claus comes tonight!

all the shopping malls are playing Christmassy songs! i like!

haha, ya just took a shower...

: friday :

Sue, Corrine and i went to watch Enchanted last Friday after work. I LOVE IT - a definite hit with the girls. thank gawd i didn't drag mr tay with me, he might just smother me to death with the pillow while i sleep at night. seriously, out of 10 guys, i'd say prolly only 2 guys would survive the torture and agree with the gf that it was a good movie. i enjoyed it nonetheless. grace was right, the songs were pretty addictive! was humming to Giselle-Edward's song even as we left the cinema to hit on to Bar Savanh Too. I LOVE PIP, THE CHIPMUNK!

got to Mont Kiara and to find Bar Savanh Too was holding a private function. ahhh crap, plans to drink, flirt, (well, technically i can't, but those 2 girls can because they are single-mingles! i was just there to help with the QUALITY control ya, oh yes i was) dance, and have some fun all went down the drain. so off we went to Clear Bar for dinner and drinks.

warning: you know you have been Facebooking too much when you start relating all the drinks on the menu with Facebook. "Eh, Cospomolitan! in Facebook, it's pink in color!"

: saturday :

on Saturday night, Crabbie and i went to watch I Am Legend, starring Will Smith. you know, i've always loved Will Smith but i was a tad disappointed with this one and it's a 6/10 for me. at the end of the show, i asked Crabbie, if this happens in real life, where would be the best place to hide or seek refuge. he said, high up in the condominiums, just like mr tay's place. i said, hello... mr tay's place is on the FIFTH floor. them Darkseekers can climb very cekap-ly so FIFTH floor is sap-sap-sui for them. seriously.

: sunday :

got up early and head to DU to pick Sue up and off we went to Kepong to attend an Indian wedding. i am probably the worst map-reader in the entire female population, so we got lost for awhile. but it was alright, we got there slightly late, ate a quick one, congratulated the newly-weds and off we went Shopping at Bangsar! again.

to cut long story short: another successful shopping spree  

ok now, very tired and the hair is all dried up. it's Back To Work tomorrow...

 *throws confetti and pops the champagne*

don't you just LOVE Mondays?

{i miss u}

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... just not my style you know

but if i ever had one, it'd be something like this:

1. procrastinate less
2. hit the gym three two times a week (i am on a headstart *nyeh nyeh*)
3. take regular dosage of the Anti Shopping On Impulse medication pills
4. newly prescribed recently: Anti Purchasing Trips On Impulse
5. drink 2 litres of water daily
6. love myself more - massages, spas, manipedi, hairwashes, shopping, facials, buy more happy flowers 
7. quit hoping Josh Duhamel would break it off with Fergie
8. quit having imaginary conversations with Shawn Yue, Allan Wu (amazing race asia), and Daniel Wu.
9. GO TO PERTH WITH SUE IN SPRING <--- easiest resolution to achieve
10. get smashed at Langkawi in March
11. try to bring boygirl up into level 8 out of 10. currently, at level 7.2 <--- a tad tricky, this one 
12. try to be more civilized at home by wearing proper clothes
13. find The Hairstyle
14. work towards The Body
15. hunt for The Perfect 100% Smudge Free Mascara and The Eyeliner
16. adopt more plants enough to beautify the current naked balcony
17. GO TO BED BY 11PM!
18. try to stay sane when approaching 27<--- it's just a number ya! but *late 20s* just doesn't sound as nice as *mid 20s*
19. laugh more, frown less.
20. open a boutique and name it "Retail Therapy"

60% achievable - 30% try-able - 10% are you nuts

angie low: 2 things i worry if i do camp by the beach
angie low: 1. tsunami
angie low: 2. robbers
Lady Luthien: 3. mosquitoes
Lady Luthien: 4. snakes
Lady Luthien: 5. other creepy crawlies
Lady Luthien: 6. uncomfy and cannot sleep
angie low: oh, great. you go on and have fun adding to the list jo-anne!!!
Lady Luthien: 7. grumpy and gaduh with each other
Lady Luthien: 8. cold like shit

and say hello to:

Package Wonderful!
lemme tell you why this is soooo much better as compared to the initial booking IF i were able to get one.

RM870 per person - which is only like RM217 per night! (in the beginning, our budget was stretched from RM200 --> RM250 --> RM300 per night)

inclusive of:

• 1 day city tour
• daily breakfast (most hotels have this, so no biggie deal)
• 1 lunch
• 1 gala dinner (new year's eve dinner! checked fr hotel's website, it costs RM130/person)
• airport transfer to and fro (so baby, we get to look out for our names in placecards! hahahaha. forgive this jakun pls)
• great location! right infront of the beach :)

this was made possible by my initially very worried mother who didn't agree to her daughter wanting to pitch a tent by the beach for fear she might be robbed in the middle of the night. she spoke to her neighbor, Michelle, and Michelle got me this :) i might be using her again for our Langkawi trip in March.

to be honest, i was a *tad* disappointed now that i don't get to camp by the sea. i was kind of looking forward to this whole boyfriend-girlfriend adventure thingy.

*dodges bricks from jo-anne*

what happens when the gf who is a DiGi subscriber, enters a Maxis contest using the boyfriend's Maxis mobile number, who happens to be a Maxis staff?

you might be disqualified.

contest at: http://www.maxis.com.my
contest details:

1. draw a doodle around the Squiggle (maxis logo) to show what Maxis means to you.
2. fill in the blank, My _________, My Maxis.
   

my first 3 trial submissions:

my happy heart, my maxis

my soulmate, my maxis

my baby, my maxis

if you see closely, they are still at the Pending status. something about needing the administrator's approval before publishing in the Submission Gallery. smart me used mr tay's mobile number, with my OWN I.C number, and my OWN name. and not forgetting, the most apparent rule-breaker - employee of Maxis is not allowed to participate.

thus, these 3 doodles confirmed disqualified one.

tonight, i'm using Sue's identity! bribed her with this promise
---> if i win the RM20,000 travel vouchers, i will share it with her for our Perth trip next year

showed Ben my doodles, and this was what he has to say, "tsk tsk tsk... this really does reflect what you really care about in your life isn't it? have a good husband, a baby and a happy life, and that's about it."

"oh shaddup you." i nonchantly replied.

because, what Ben doesn't know is i have sketched a lot more of these doodles to be submitted later on my sketchbook which, includes, "My Nasi Lemak, My Maxis".

*note - the drawing tool is damn kao hard to use and control. if only it is similar to facebook's graffiti, hah!

little feet pitter-pattering all over the office.

"mommy, what is this!"

"mommy, i can't zip my pants up!" - Little Boy in Yellow complaining to mommy in the ladies. so so so irresistably cute.

"mommy, can i sit on your desk?!"

"ok, you put the cup near your mouth, let the water touches your lips a little, then you swallow. can? come, mommy show you again." - little girl not used to drinking from a cup. heard over at pantry.

"eh so that was your son or daughter?" - CLASSIC! if i am the parent, i'd be extremely insulted! hahaha!

but, none of these can beat my favorite eavesdropped conversation heard last year.

Heard at 4.15pm @ 17th floor (posted here on Nov 28 2006)

Little boy: You cannot eat Mentos and drink Coca-Cola.
Little girl: *tak layan him*
Little boy: Because when you eat Mentos, and drink Coca-Cola, your head will *BOMMMM*. Burst out all open.

*LOL*
I cannot tahan.

*suppressing every temptation to kidnap Little Boy in Yellow*

The Great Morning Laze

1000am woke up (would not be this early if it was not because of mr tay's incessant buzzing Blackberry)
1015 watered and talked to the plants
1025 checked for paid posts opportunities - none
1030 facebook, msn, emails and absorbing the morning sun with Lisa Wahlandt's bossa nova sounds playing around the house
1115 singing aloud to "All You Need Is Love"
1117 mr tay made a very observative remark, you're like this different person when you do not need to work. happier!
1117.50 rolled my eyes and went, ABUTHEN! (it's actually 'ahh but then?')

Playtime

1210pm the boyfriend dropped me off at One Utama and off he went to work.
12.20 spa pedicure bliss
1400 checked into Gold Class GSC for Golden Compass with Crabbie
1500 wore a miniskirt, hence legs felt very exposed and cold. contemplated whether to rent a blanket
1600 at Italiannies for super late lunch with Crabbie. ordered Pomodoro pasta, calamari caesar salad and strawberry cheesecake for dessert
1915 checked into GSC for Across The Universe
2150 came out of cinema all dazed and confused. the movie was very.... peculiar.

The Conversation

we chatted a lot on boygirl relationships. i have to give it to him. he has friends with the MOST dramatic (and traumatic) love lives. (except me, my life is pathetically dramaless)

Couple #1
- dated for 7 years, about to register to get married
- girl was standing infront of the her house waiting for her bf to get down from his car
- girl got hit and dragged by another car who was parked nearby
- girl died on the spot
- boy was devastated. after 1 year, decided to move on and started dating other girls
- girl's parents felt disappointed and told him that he should not marry any other girl after their daughter's death

Couple #2
- dated for quite some time
- girl was 22 and already had TWO abortions. boy asked her to go to the abortion center by herself
- boy treated the girl like crap. have always played the emotional blackmail game. i fucking HATE guys who thrives in emo blackmail
- buys her stuff but expects the girl to pay him back WHICH, she did, via bank-in
- boy called to break up with her. AND ASKED FOR STUFF THAT HE HAD GIVEN TO HER TO BE RETURED BACK TO HIM

Couple #3
- dated for 8 years
- boy cheated on girl once. girl forgave him
- boy cheated on girl 9 more times and gave her herpes
- broke up. boy moved on and dated another girl for 6 months
- girl is still hopeful that they will get back together. allowed boy to do whatever he pleases with the hope that he will come to realize that she is the still the best girl for him

Couple #4
- been dating quite awhile
- boy made the girl went for abortions EIGHT times
- boy ended up marrying the OTHER girl and have 2 kids
- boy is STILL playing around

The Realization

mr tay and i have been together for 2+ years. my longest relationship by the way. in relation to Couple #1, i came to realize that life is indeed very fragile and there is no guarantee in life. anything and i mean, anything can happen tomorrow, 10 hours from now and 1 min from now. so, please treasure your loved ones and start counting your blessings everyday. like now, mr tay is driving to JB for the wretched PC Fair and i always always tell him to drive safely coz shit happens on the road, alright. and coz he always seem to think that he owns the roads and all the other drivers owe him money? know what i mean?

to the girl in Couple #3 - if only i can speak to her and i bet she will leave the guy in no time. i have an absolute ZERO tolerance for guys who cheat behind their gfs' backs. strike one, and you're out. seriously, i mean it. no freaking 9 more times like what have happened to her. geez, you allow your bf to cheat on you 10 times?!

was asked by Crabbie a very intriguing question during lunch.

"what would you do, if a much much better guy comes along and sweeps you off your feet?"

i looked at him and gave him a blank, "huh?"

come to think of it, i have not thought about this for a very long time. he then went on lecturing me about fate and stuff. how, if this Other Guy and me were meant to be together then, we wil end up together no matter what.

it's ok i tell him. i don't need the extra drama. dramaless love life is actually quite... good. like for example, i am not required to bank-in money into mr tay's account for the dinners and stuff he bought me. (reference: couple #2) *lol*

This is Cute

Crabbie wants to say this to his future wife:

during the marriage ceremony, before slipping the ring into her ring, he wants to say to her, "So, it's you huh? It's finally you. Why did you have to take so long to appear in my life huh?! Nah, here's the ring."

LOL!!! I burst out laughing!

actually, i do have my own version as well. thought about this after The Horrible Breakup with the ex, a couple of years back. i'd do this.

fists hitting on his chest while angrily exclaiming, "YOU! Why did you have to let me go through all these shit before meeting you! Why did you have to let me meet all the bastards before YOU!" and then proceeds to kiss him like he is The Best Damn Thing in The Whole Wide World

let's wait and see who will have this 'honour' getting hit by my fists. ha-ha.

***

Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need