A lot of times I'll write something just to get it out. This is one of those entries...


How does it feel like lying and denying to yourself? Are you conscious about it? Will you be aware of the lie that you so conveniently shift aside into a tiny corner of your mind each time it unwittingly pops up to gradually gnaw away what is left of our sanity? If you are and will, would you do anything about it so that it doesn't remain as a lie but a fact that you have to eventually accept - whether you like or not.


Have you ever thought about it? We're talking about lies that you do not even want to think about let alone, dwell on the possibility of whether you are conscious about it or not so, let me rephrase my question: Have you been lying to yourselves lately?


Well I have. And just so you know, I score so well at lying to myself that it amazes me immensely. Last night, I sat staring at some reality show on tv while drowning lost in my thoughts on the complicated relationship I so wonderfully gotten myself into - The Neverending Saga of BrazilBoy and Me.


Note: I mentioned in my earlier blogs that this relationship is as over as 'goodbye forever' and it's just a matter of getting used to it and it shall not bother me right? Well hear this.


I was fiddling with my shoelaces before the start of the class yesterday. So eager and spirited I was to sweat it all out when suddenly Brazil Boy announced to everyone he'll be leaving back to Brazil in Oct. "No more Vinicius, so, byebye in October" His exact words.


*GASP*


Eyes widen. Fingers stopped fiddling with stubborn shoelaces twisted in horrible knots. Heart beat launched from *dub   dub  dub* to *thumpthumpthumpthump*. Brain activity significantly increased by 10 fold. "Didn't he say to me the other day that his contract was extended? And that the company has allocated him to a different place to stay? The plan was he'll be back to Brazil in Oct for a month holiday and back here in Nov... and why this now... perhaps, not extended afterall... how how how..." Mind succumbed into a frenzy mode.


Back home thinking about it, his sms unexpectedly popped in wishing me good night, etc. Being the impulsive girl I am, I smsed him back wishing him good night and ... "Will you be coming back in November?" SIAO RIGHT? Say wanna lose off the relationship and I actually asked him that. Somebody shoot me please.


Curious to know what he replied?


"Maybe. Kisses"

YES! THIS!


Very girly! But I like!

However, this is not the final product yet. Have more issues (with htmls) that are yet to be sorted out.

In the mean time, enjoy new colors, new images, new outlook.

Tralalalala.. la la.. la LA!

You will realize just how much Love you possess for someone when...


"You keep unshelling prawns and crabs for that person throughout the entire session of dinner."

-As demonstrated by Me. To My Brother :P

I want / fancy / desire / need  /  wish for / long for / would like ...

:: A PURPLE LAVA LAMP ::

An Open Letter to My Sinuses

Dear Sinuses:

1. Please stop sms-ing me. Indeed, you have a knack of knowing just when to get me all weakened up by merely reading the short and sweet messages from you. I don't want this anymore. I don't like the way it is now. Please stop.
2. You have an extremely attractive smile. My wish is for you to stop smiling so dangerously yummy at me whenever you see me at the gym. This includes the naughty swift winks you unnervingly flash at me during classes. No more KissMe Smiles and HeySexy Winks please.
3. I still find it difficult to contain the green-eyed monster a.k.a jealousy in me when the other girls so openly flirted with you. I didn't like what I see. In fact, everytime I see a Betty or a Veronica hovering around you, I paint a lovely picture in my mind: Bettys and Veronicas being zapped... miniatures... squishings... ooo I'd better not say. It's an ugly picture in actuality.
4. In all honesty, 3 months of mental torture and mind games are enough by now. Can we change game plans now? Perhaps a higher dosage of TLC would be nice. An occasional of "How was your day? I've made reservations at This-this Restaurant and bought tickets for This-this Movie that you have been dying to catch. Shall we go tonight?" is always welcomed. Boy, if you had changed tactics and switched to this game plan, I won't be blogging my brains out on this now, would I?
5. Yes, you must leave now. I am refusing your entry in my life.

And finally ...

To That Guy:

Somewhere deep within me lies a tiny wish that you'd go back in Oct as planned earlier.

I could have loved you. So much in fact. But you never switched game plans! Why couldn't you?

I am now devising my own game plans. And guess what? This time, I get to be Chief Commander :)

This morning, I woke up feeling stupid.

I dreamt I was in this ulu kampung, trying to find my way out after investigating a murder case with an ex-highschool friend of mine. We were running around the village in bicycles. After done being heroes trying to solve the mystery case, she left. And I was struggling to find my way back to where I came from. Now hear this...

In that dream, I had my White Satria parked close to me. But I was also on a bicycle right? I rode to this mamak stall, asking this makcik for a RM2 change of coins. I needed the coins to call my dad to ask for directions.

And then I asked him how should I go around with the bicycle when I have my car parked here. "Daddy...how to bring everything along???"

Dear Angie,

You stupid, stupid girl. What now, you tend to be ridiculously stupid in dreams? If so, I'd rather you be dreamless every night from now on.

-- Just disassemble the damn bike and put the parts inside the car booth la.

Geez.

Sincerely,
Your Other Smarter Conscious Half

This morning I made the fluffiest and roundest mushroom cheese omelette ever.

As fluffy as a bunny's bobtail and as round as a roti canai.

On the player: Natalie Merchant * Life is Sweet

Just the other day ...

• Brazil Boy smugly announced he might not be returning to Brazil for good afterall. Contract was extended. So guess what? He'd still be around to toy with my feelings, fiddle around with my emotions and threaten my sanity for a long time more to come. Yippee.
• Had my *First Rounds of Margarita*
  Quirk-Me-Up Names: Tequila Mockingbird Margarita, Cranberry Cosmorita, Horny Margarita, Strawberry Mojitorita and how could I ever resist Tequila Sunrise Margarita. Sinful photos to be uploaded soon
  
  "How do you like your Margarita, Angie?"
  
  My say:

1. I like mine half-rimmed with salt pls.
2. When you order a Margarita from a bartender or server don't just say, "I'll take a Margarita, please". This will instantly let them know that you don't know anything about Margaritas. Always order it like; "I'll take a Margarita on the rocks with salt" or "I'll take a frozen Cuervo Margarita without salt", etc. I like the frozen versions better.
3. Do not ever order the Margarita that's "On Special". Chances are that they have mass produced it with very little alcohol. If you call out your Tequila then they will have to make it from scratch.

• Had the most obnoxious dream ever. I got married. To a man I have Absolute Zero Love (AZL) for. Warm fuzzy feelings didn't even come close. And I got Pregnant. Told hubby of whom I have AZL for, that a little human is literally and definitely growing inside of me. Hubby said keep it. I wanted to abort it. "But it's massively sinful to kill an unborn being" So I kept it growing inside of me while ...
  

I strolled around the garden looking up a mango tree, trying to slice open a riped mango

Utterly bizarre.

• Lazing around, doing absolutely nothing. Desperate Housewives Season II popped into mind. Pondered and wondered and ... out *pop* Mike Delfino
  Couldn't comprehend all the fuss over Garden Boy when you have Mike Delfino!
  Mind lingered on yummy Delfino for the longest time.
• Had Father-Daughter bonding at night watching The Beatles concerts and Concert for George (Harrison) in the Royal Albert Hall.
  Angie's Ingenious Impulsive Idea : What does it take to have ALL the children of members of The Beatles to form a band? We have Stella McCartney a.k.a Fashion Guru, Sean Lennon, Dhani Harrison, Zak Starkey, etc - these being the few celebrated offsprings of The Beatles.
  - Imagine the impact on the international music scene.
  - Imagine the hoo-ha.
  - It will be an Euphoric Keerrrr-pow phenomenon, I tell you.

And just the other day: I thought of this ...

If we get a penny for our thoughts, but we're always giving our two cents' worth, doesn't that mean we actually lose money on having opinions? And if so, shouldn't we all just shut the hell up and go shopping instead?