On the player: Natalie Merchant * Life is Sweet

Just the other day ...

• Brazil Boy smugly announced he might not be returning to Brazil for good afterall. Contract was extended. So guess what? He'd still be around to toy with my feelings, fiddle around with my emotions and threaten my sanity for a long time more to come. Yippee.
• Had my *First Rounds of Margarita*
  Quirk-Me-Up Names: Tequila Mockingbird Margarita, Cranberry Cosmorita, Horny Margarita, Strawberry Mojitorita and how could I ever resist Tequila Sunrise Margarita. Sinful photos to be uploaded soon
  
  "How do you like your Margarita, Angie?"
  
  My say:

1. I like mine half-rimmed with salt pls.
2. When you order a Margarita from a bartender or server don't just say, "I'll take a Margarita, please". This will instantly let them know that you don't know anything about Margaritas. Always order it like; "I'll take a Margarita on the rocks with salt" or "I'll take a frozen Cuervo Margarita without salt", etc. I like the frozen versions better.
3. Do not ever order the Margarita that's "On Special". Chances are that they have mass produced it with very little alcohol. If you call out your Tequila then they will have to make it from scratch.

• Had the most obnoxious dream ever. I got married. To a man I have Absolute Zero Love (AZL) for. Warm fuzzy feelings didn't even come close. And I got Pregnant. Told hubby of whom I have AZL for, that a little human is literally and definitely growing inside of me. Hubby said keep it. I wanted to abort it. "But it's massively sinful to kill an unborn being" So I kept it growing inside of me while ...
  

I strolled around the garden looking up a mango tree, trying to slice open a riped mango

Utterly bizarre.

• Lazing around, doing absolutely nothing. Desperate Housewives Season II popped into mind. Pondered and wondered and ... out *pop* Mike Delfino
  Couldn't comprehend all the fuss over Garden Boy when you have Mike Delfino!
  Mind lingered on yummy Delfino for the longest time.
• Had Father-Daughter bonding at night watching The Beatles concerts and Concert for George (Harrison) in the Royal Albert Hall.
  Angie's Ingenious Impulsive Idea : What does it take to have ALL the children of members of The Beatles to form a band? We have Stella McCartney a.k.a Fashion Guru, Sean Lennon, Dhani Harrison, Zak Starkey, etc - these being the few celebrated offsprings of The Beatles.
  - Imagine the impact on the international music scene.
  - Imagine the hoo-ha.
  - It will be an Euphoric Keerrrr-pow phenomenon, I tell you.

And just the other day: I thought of this ...

If we get a penny for our thoughts, but we're always giving our two cents' worth, doesn't that mean we actually lose money on having opinions? And if so, shouldn't we all just shut the hell up and go shopping instead?

RPM class @ 10am this morning.

It's amazing that I've been doing RPM for a couple of months now, since May and still loving every minute of it. Addicted? I think so too.

Something had me thinking this morning. I was asked twice by 2 different RPM instructors whether I would like to teach RPM. The first time was sometime last week. This morning being the second time. We had two instructors this morning, Brazil Boy was one and the other was a female instructor. Towards the end of the class, she actually came up to me and said I was good! La la laaa ~ The bottomline is, anyone can be good at anything as long as there's a strong passion for anything that they do. And I simply am passionate about and have deep Love, lOve,loVe, lovE for RPM :)

I think everyone should possess great passion for a certain thing at least once in their lives. Imagine going through the days doing the same thing over and over again without an aim or nothing to look forward to each day - you might as well be dead, ain't it?

Who says being passionate about something has to be boring? Some might look at gardening as a boring way of passing time while others can very well claim the glory of having honed the passion into something great and beautiful (i.e. Bree Van Der Kamp from Desperate Housewives - ever noticed her well-landscaped garden?) Passion + Action = GOOD RESULTS.

Passion changes as time goes by or as we grow up. When I was younger, I was very into my piano lessons. My aim was to finish the wretched ABRSM exams as fast as possible so that I do not have to sit for exams anymore and be able to play whatever song I wish to. And, well I did it. Then, came one day when I'd developed great passion for reading - my mum never had a tougher time persuading me to go to sleep every night so that I will be able to wake up for school the next morning. I had practically devoured every single book ever written by Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl and the Grimm's Fairytales series. Heck, I even digested my first Narnia book when I was about 9. (Note: Narnia, being The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe which is coming to the cinemas in Dec) See, I was and still am a great fan of pixies, faeries, elves, goblins, nymphs, ogres, wizards - magic. One thing though, I have never read a single book of the LOTR series. I'd rather watch the movie. Know why? No offence to the LOTR books fans, but J.R.R. Tolkien being the brilliant writer he was, could write up to 5 pages just to describe a freakin' TREE!

Then as I grew older, I developed deep passion for cooking. I simply love experimenting new dishes and get friends to be my guinea pigs. Of which mostly, turned out to be quite good, and sometimes very good! Again... Passion + Action = GOOD RESULTS! Hahaha! At one point, I was very into netball and volleyball. In fact, I still love volleyball. Now and then I would dream of heading down to the beaches and have a few games of beach volleyball. Get a good bronzy tan. A good massage. Check out some great beach surfers' fabulous bods. Haaaa... that'd be a great relaxing weekend. Ok ok, got carried away and started dreaming again *wipe drool ~~~*

 And how could I ever forget being passionate about blogging? Blogging provides this platform for me to express myself, my thoughts and feelings freely. To me, blogging also serves as a communications tool for me to be able to connect to people who are close and not-so-close to me. Recently, Su Ann having read my blog, smsed me to point out what an evil person I was, in my attempts to threaten negotiate with Justin for the 2 months worth of FREE Margaritas. The power of blogging... haaa ;)

If you'd followed my blog closely, you'd read about my ex-obsession with running. So won't go into details about it. Now, we simply focus on RPM :P Speaking of which, I have started compiling my own set of music should I decide to go through some trainings, get a Certificate and start teaching. Found this song's title which the instructors were using during classes which I grew quite fond of: Kate Ryan * Desenchantee, a Polish song. (Translation: Disenchanted)

When I started doing RPM , never in my wildest imagination would I ever thought of teaching it. It's a crazy crazy dream.

But I think I am gonna give this crazy dream a try.

I am an impulsive person.

Over the years I have accumulated enough decisions, actions and stunts to rightly claim the status of being the Impulsive Queen who STILL is reigning supreme and mighty. Sometimes, actions taken were excellent, while others can sometimes be rather disastrous.

Some notable catastrophes:

• I kissed a boy whom in my little mind at that time thought he was the cutest thing ever existed after my blue pacifier. He told his older sister, whom came looking for me the next day, demanding to know why I'd kissed her little brother. I was 5 yrs old back then. Angry Sister was 6 and Cute Boy was 5 like me. We were in the same institution - kindergarten.

• I peed by the longkang in manner of squatting down with the skirt yanked up, panty pulled down and couldn't care less for anything in the world for the next 30 secs. This, was still in kindergarten (thank goodness) Reason being, I was so busy playing catch with the other kids, that had me missed my school bus. In which I didn't realize at first, and while waiting, I felt I needed to relieve myself. So ... ta-da!

• I bullied my daddy. Extremely in fact. (I was still small la, so give me a break and stop rolling those eyes k? :P) Every morning, at about 6+ am while the sun hadn't risen yet, I used to consistently cry and wail so that daddy would take me out to see little yellow chicks reared by this neighbor who lived a few houses away. So daddy would wake up while mummy was still sleeping soundly, dragged himself to my baby cot, scooped me up into a baby-pram and ... yes, made his Lil Impulsive Princess very happy and pleased. I was at that time about, 1 - 3 yrs old.

Fast forwarding a bit and...

• It was high school. During one of my favorite Chemistry classes, in the lab one day, I decided so intelligently that the 'potion' we were brewing at that time would look magnificent in purple (purple, simply being my fav color, and if you still don't know by now - shame on you!). I think I added Natrium Klorida, or was it Natrium Sulfida and the whole concoction literally, not exploded, but popped off, emitting a dangerous-sounding *Ssssssssssss…* Shocked we all were, we somehow thought it was something new and exciting that we could all dabble in while lab lessons got boring. I didn’t get my purple concoction by the way. And if any of you Kimia wizards out there who knows exactly what NaSo₄ + NH₄Cl + etc = Something purple (which most importantly DO NOT explode), be nice and do let me know and I love you k?

• Still in high school, I hated the long-winded school assemblies. You’d think managing boys is tough work, wait till you handle 500+ girls where not throwing your sanitary pads into the designated bins correctly is deemed a very serious offence and needed public ‘counseling’ almost every Monday assembly. *Roll eyes* So, impulsive girl seek escape by huddling with the other girls, with some pretended to have gastric pains and some with period cramps to have ourselves admitted to the Sick Bay. Oh, the school actually named that room Sick Bay for students who fall sick during school hours. Like us ;)

******************

Every tv show has commercial breaks. So must this interesting blog. HAHAHA, ok ok, I won’t push it. But really, it’s 12.33 am now and the impulsiveness in me tells me that I should shut down my notebook and go to sleep. Which, I shall obey – as usual. 

Part II to be continued ...

Date: Aug 14
Time: 1125hr
Mode: High
Status of suicide work: 1 more sub-design (Editing, touch-ups to be done tonight)

Music that kept the sanity intact for the past 22hrs: Safri Duo (mmm-mm!)

Food consumed: Dragonfruit, Honeydew, Goober Peanut Butter Strawberry Jelly, M&Ms, Cadbury Rum & Raisin Chocolates (simply couldn't resist!) and some leftover soup, and a couple mugs of caffeine-loaded coffeeeee

No. of times glances stole at bed: Lost count!

No. of times toyed with mamak idea with Anne: 6

No. of times called & smsed to threaten negotiate with Justin to extend 1mth to 2mths of FREE margaritas: 4 (Result: Successful!)

No. of times toyed with Vodka shots idea: 8 (Result: Just 1. So 'shots' didn't count)

Going off to get some sleep before RPM class at 6pm. I don't normally do classes on weekends but today's an exception because:

• I feel sick having ate crap the whole night.
• I want happy happy hormones to flow all over me :D
• And I feel tremendously satisfied with the designs' end results despite such tight deadline

So let's sing and shake that booty to the tune of Benny Benassi's --

** Push me
And then just touch me
Till I can get my satisfaction
Satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction **

Date: Aug 13
Day: Saturday
Time: 1500hr
Mode: Lazy + Highly stressed out

As much as I want to stay lazy for the rest of the day, I just can't. I have THREE very contrasting designs to come up with by Monday. Well actually, it's NINE. Each major design has three sub-designs for comparing and choosing purposes. So just imagine, how many creative ways have I thought of to kill myself for bringing this to myself? :)

The last time I had a job offer as major as this was back in the month of April '05. In between some shut-eyes for that week, I literally didn't sleep for two days at least. But the end results were worth it all. As much as I've loved the adrenaline rush and the last minute madness, the nods of 'yes' from clients were like icing of the cake. I admit that I thrive on crazy deadlines, and mentally-challenging clients who just can't decide on what they want. But I don't get much of it these days. So imagine, when Justin called me so suddenly on Friday night, requesting 'a little favor' from me, I'd practically jump on it.

'A little favor' turned out to be a very fussy client (from a reputable company which shall not be named for privacy purposes) who wanted some good quality designs by Monday. Had no intention of signing my own suicide note that early by committing to it so I said no. Monday was too close of a deadline and I didn't even have the luxury of looking through the company's profile to note about their style, preferences, and image. I ALWAYS check on every client's profile before committing to the job. My point is this: I have certain styles of my own. The company might and might not have its own distinctive image yet. Therefore, the challenge is to see whether the company can or is willing to absorb my ideas.

And in this case, I haven't even met up with the client! A couple of phone calls and emails do not do justice to this, I can honestly tell you.

But I will try. Because that's what friends are for, aren't they? You are always willing to die to save your friends' asses without any questions asked - provided they are truly desperate enough and are willing to provide "free margaritas for 1 whole month, Angie!" Justin, I sincerely hope you'd bring enough cash and credit cards to thank me for the 'little favor' I am doing for you! Bwahahaha. I can be so eeeee-viiil.

Oh oh oh! I have a few visions and great ideas now! I'm feeling the rush kickin' in and the adrenaline pumping all over me now! Ai-yai-yai! So I'll be good and creative and return to my 1 month worth of free margaritas challenging work now. Will meet up with fussy client on Monday after work (the actual one).

No sleep tonight (to the tune from The Faders). Rush rush rush! Pull pull hair! Bitch bitch bitch! Swear swear swear! Stress stress stress!

But I like :) 

Something which was done by my friend who's also an ex-colleague of mine. Me is in the picture! The one with the 'hau por' pose holding a plate and spoon. That picture was taken during my birthday celebration in the office. Pretty good job by him huh? :)

When was the last time you feel truly happy? Come on, be honest here, at least to yourselves. When was the last time you feel joyful, ecstatic or even, on cloud nine? Being happy for 30 min doesn't count and a couple of hours of happiness well, to me doesn't count either. To be in a state of great exuberance of joy to me is a wonderful feeling that is beyond description and notably, a memorable one that would still brings out a smile on your face every time you think about it.

You have to admit that this exquisitely intense feeling doesn't come around often. If one experiences great happiness on a very constant basis, what is so special about the occasions or reasons to be happy about? Happiness would then merely be just another feeling of contentment. It's just like having to live in a world where everyone is beautiful - so no one really stands out because there are no ugly not-so-nice looking people around to compare.

The last time I truly felt happy was when I received a phone call on one evening from someone, informing me that I've gotten the job that I've applied for. The feeling of such at that moment that to describe it was just beyond words. It wasn't just any other job that I've applied just for the fun of it to see whether I could land on it by chance or luck. It was a job that I actually have looked through thoroughly before applying and prayed hard that I could be a part of it. So here I am, at the the job, having a good time learning every possible thing that could satiate my inquisitive mind.

Backtracking from New Job Ecstasy, I guess I honestly knew I was exceedingly happy when I was...

Come to think of it, I don't recall any. I mean, yes...

• Spending time with the family has always been pleasurable
• Hanging out with friends is an endless fun-filled enjoyment activity
• Waking up to a beautiful breezy morning is an easy happiness-inducer
• Waking up beside a loved one is even happier
• Waking up with a flat tummy boosts the extra confidence throughout the day :)
• Finding the right top, skirt or shoes at a bargained price is always good
• Seeing Little Boy holding hands with Little Mei Mei is always delightful
• Spotting old grandpa walking slowly hand-in-hand with old ah-ma nevers fails to conjure up a smile on the face
• All curled up in bed on a glorious rainy weather with a good book by the window side always brings about the "ahhhh... mmmm" feeling of great comfort and relaxation
• Completing an hour of RPM class with the sports-bra all soaked up with sweat always have me saying, "Man, that was goooooddddd"
• Being able to learn up a new song that I like on the piano always gives me the I-did-it and I-knew-I-could-master-it kinda feeling
• Being able to locate good, unknown, non-commercialized songs on Ares is an achievement (you need skills and brains to do this, this is serious work!)
• Seeing the happy faces of those who receive birthday and Christmas presents is priceless
• Seeing a cute little dog wagging its tail earnestly at you is blissfully pleasant
• Meeting the New Someone that could fire up that *thump thump* feeling in the heart - *thump thump* increases to *dub dub dub dub dub* when SMSes from that New Someone pops up unexpectedly
• And lastly, having completed each blog entry produces immense satisfaction of having delivered my thoughts and feelings across almost accurately

So, does this mean that I don't lead a happy life when the last time I felt truly joyful was 1 month ago when I received that phone call for the new job? I hope not because that would potentially put me in the same category of a depression-sufferer. I am not depressed, I definitely am not.

I just feel that something is lacking in my life. Everyday is too routine-like for my liking. I need to search for that little spark to fire up the other person inside of me. I think she has been hibernating long enough and it's high time that she's to come out and ignite that little spark and add new memorable chapters to my 24 years of mingling with the human race.

So, when was your last memorable indescribable feeling of pure bliss? I would love to know :)

I am thinking of changing my phone number.

Not that I'm being the impulsive girl I am this time, or that I got bored of my number. As a matter of fact, I like my number very much. It's easy to remember and very Chinese well-liked with all the 'Eights'. Well, that's not to say that my favorite number is 8 - I like the number 9.

Ok, before I get too long-winded again, I am toying with the idea of changing my digits simply because I've been getting a lot of unknown calls lately. Not wrong numbers, mind you. These people knew my name. Ok, jantans, all of them. One guy at a different time phase is understandable but a few guys all at once?

Normally I do not entertain unknown calls. My logic is this: If the person is desperate to get to you, say, your brother couldn't use his hp to call you and is using his friend's and if it's urgent - he'd always leave a voicemail (which I always check on) or SMS. So, it truly baffles and at the same time, amuses me to see some people with the unknown numbers can keep calling you and not being able to get to you, would STILL NOT leave a message or SMS! Weird? I think so too.

So of lately, I have decided to change a little. I decided that I should not be so anti-social and that I should be picking up those persistent calls to put an end to all the mystery.

• Caller #1 - "Hi Angie! My name is ABC and I just got back from the overseas and found that I have a number which I couldn't put the face to, so I thought I'd give you a call..."
  Result: Turned out, I had no idea who he claimed himself to be or how he had gotten my number.
• Caller #2 - "Hi! It's so hard to get you to answer my calls! But I'm DEF and your number has been in my phone for quite some time now. I was clearing up my phone list on the hp the other day and thought I should check on your number to see who it is..."
  Result: Who the hell is DEF??? Why was he acting as if he knew me so damn well?
• Caller #3 - Same lame excuse as Caller #2.
  This, my friends, was our 'friend' you all read about in my earlier blog entry a.k.a TWERP. And he was the first and last person I ever dared to go out with in attempt to satisfy my curiosity in regards to the Case of Mysterious Phone Calls.

I have friends asking me why I never pick up phone calls when I was out having dinner or mamak with them. "New love target whom you're too shy to talk to in front of us ah?" is always the case. I never bothered explaining because it would be pointless as knowing these friends of mine well enough, they'd actually encourage me to play along, get to know the guy and meet up with them. I have a bunch of very crazy and adventurous friends, so coming from that, I'd rather not explain.

BUT THEN AGAIN...

Why should I give up something I like very much just to escape from something that's ... well yes, bothersome and irritating BUT still manageable? I like my number and I'm keeping it. And if I have to ignore 10 unknown phone calls a day, I WILL. I have this faith in the saying 'everyone's level of patience has its limits', and on one fine day, these weirdos will decide and come to a conclusion that, "Damn this woman, what a bitch and a weirdo who doesn't answer phone calls!"

That'd be sweet and once again, peace will be restored :)

Had an incredible one-hour RPM workout at 10am this morning. Felt so revitalized and HAPPY ~ La La Laaaa :D It's true when they say you release endorphins a.k.a feel good hormones when you exercise. And I'm feeling so good right now that I can kiss anyone! Even gfs of ex-bfs!

I'll try to write this in relevance to everyone's life. Hope you are able to grasp its meaning though I tend to be a lil long-winded at times. I used to run a lot - 7KM on alternate days. I ran so much till I screwed up my knees quite a bit. My friend, Sam was right when he said that I got addicted to running. The addiction got quite bad to the extent that even when I was on trips back to Ipoh (mum's hometown) or holidaying at some place with friends, I'd pack along my running shoes so that I wouldn't have to go through 2 days without running.

Then the pain hit me. That was the only thing that could prevent me from running. I mean, how can one run when their knees are so screwed up that every step you pound on the ground hurts like hell? Doctors told me to lay off running for awhile. "How long doctor?" I asked sweetly, assuming he had some magic pills I could pop some and then I could hit on the tracks in 3 days time.

"2 weeks. Probably one month. But at least 2 weeks."

Felt as though my whole world has collapsed. Just like how men would feel when there are no more beers in this world and women, will never ever be able to achieve orgasms anymore.

Being a feisty girl I was, I was determined to find a solution to this problem. Spoke to a couple of friends who were runner fanatics like me, and I thought I found a solution - Glucosamine. Got myself to GNC and found out that Glucosamine could be quite pricey.

So there was no way in hell I would be able to run for the next couple of days at least. I couldn't have the thing that I desire most at that point in my life. For once in my life, I could not do the one thing that I love doing most. I think most of you out there just couldn't imagine how badly this had affected me last time so just imagine this - not being able to have sex anymore. Hope that scenario helped a bit. Tee-hee-hee :)

Then one fine day came when I suddenly had this desire to give RPM a try. For those who follow my stories regularly on my blogspace would know what RPM is. First try, did not like it at all. And I was still feeling miserable not being able to run. I was so determined that nothing in this world could ever replace the joys and wonders of running anymore. Then I kept noticing just how popular the RPM classes were in my gym. So I thought to myself that the classes must be really good for being able to attract such huge followers. So I decided to give it another go.

Another go I took. And another. And another once more. And after that I was hooked. Up till now. And guess what? No more pain! No more having to endure knee pains! I can RPM as often as I want. Unlike running, where I could only run for a couple of days and rest and lay off for the next remaining days of the week. Ahh... bliss!

So the moral of the story is...

So often we find ourselves so engrossed with one thing / person, that we tend to ignore the other alternatives that are actually really good for us. We have this mindset of this thing, this person is the one. Nothing in this world could ever replace it, him or her. I want nothing else but this. Then we build walls around us, fending off all the other possibilities that could disrupt our concentration on achieving or winning it, him or her. That, my friends, should NEVER be a factor that would stop you from getting the most out of life. If that one thing fails, look around for other alternatives. If that relationship did not work out, be glad that it failed - giving you a second opportunity in seeking a better one. And if the prospect of going after the 'dream' guy or girl for weeks, months or even years, does not seem so bright now - do yourself a favor, stop torturing yourself and go out there and meet other possible 'dream' guys or girls!

Easier said than done you say? Well yes it is. Nothing comes easy in life. But it would be easier if we DO something about it rather than moping and complaining about it. Yes?

Right now I am so in love with RPM. But I also realised that one day I might not be able to do RPM anymore. So should that time comes, I will cleverly seek other options and move on. Feel so happyyyyyyyyyy now. Makes me wonder just how long do the endorphins swim around your body or mind?

Again I use this quote:

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened before us -- Helen Keller