You know how when your friend falls into depression, and your words of sound and positive advice can just easily flow out of your mouth? Giving suggestions, providing solutions, and sometimes even to the extent of drilling sense into her/his mind - all these, wonderful fleeting words of consolation soothes the heart, but most importantly, create a window opportunity for the mind to hit back to reality.

But why can't it be for the case of Ourselves? Why is it when we succumb into moments of depression, we just lose it? Why is it in these dark gloomy moments we seem to believe or want to believe that every single clouding negative thought in our mind to be the BIGGEST hurdle to pass through? But in the eyes of others, we are merely "not thinking right, we whine too much, or we are not doing anything about it."

I bet they do not understand how certain things impact us inside. I bet they think we just love whining our lives away and not doing anything about it. I bet they think we are weak.

But it's ok. At the end of the day. We know ourselves best. No one else knows us as much as we know ourselves. We do what we can, within the capacities of our capabillities. We decide what is best for ourselves. No one should ever decide for us.

So we stop whining to others. We put on a blissful facade from now on, not to fool them but just to send out a message of, "My issues are my responsibility. Don't comment if you know it's going to hurt me more inside."

But at the of the day, we are still human.  We can't help how we truly feel. If there are moments of sadness, we hurt inside. If depression hits us, we ache within. And for what it's worth, no one should know about it. Simply because when you feel bad, them will feel it too and sometimes if matters are not approached properly, them will say things that make you feel even worse, inadequate and a loser.

Therefore, sometimes, we need not show our true selves anymore.

These, my thoughts.

Don't know whether anyone of you experienced the act of shaking in anger. And I mean, yes, literally shaking. Well, I did. For the very first time.

I was shaking with so much rage as I gave that bastard a piece of mine outside the police station last night. How could I not be mad?! That SON OF A BITCH changed his story and said I reversed my car and banged his Mitsubishi Storm. WTF!

THE INCIDENT: Along the flyover of Jalan Semantan, with Esso of the left and HELP college on the right. FLAT surface. I KNOW COZ I WENT BACK ONE MORE ROUND AFTER WORK TO CHECK DAMMIT! Traffic was moving slow. Cars stopped briefly. Car infront of me moved. I haven't released my gear to move. And *bam* I was hit from behind.

His SMS as a reply to mine yesterday during working hours was this:

"Angie, your engine suddenly dead on uphill flyover, your car reverse and knock my car."

At that moment, when I read that, all hell broke loose. Everyone in the office could see how mad I was. And I really really really was very furious.

So, to cut story short, DT and I went over the police station in Jln Bandar to meet up with him and 'negotiate'. I gave him a piece of my mine, yelled,  and almost cursed but I didn't. Being the bloody coward he was, he just kept quiet as I went on and on and on. He would only deal with DT regarding money payment, etc., afraid to talk to me. WHAT A CHICKEN!

Infront of the police officer, he went on and on about, "Encik, saya mahu settle kat luar, tak mau susah susahkan encik, tapi dia tak nak. Langgar sikit saje, settle kat luar cukup la, tapi dia tak nak."

MATHA FUCKER, IF YOU WERE TO SETTLE IT PROPERLY WE WOULDN'T BE IN THAT THE POLICE STATION IN THE FIRST PLACE. RM20 FIX WHAT? WANNA FIX THAT CLEARLY NON-FUNCTIONAL BRAIN OF YOURS ALSO NOT ENOUGH LAH!

Police went, "RM20, dia nak buat apa dengan RM20?" Padan muka.

He went on, "So, saya kasi dia RM50, tapi dia tak nak juga!"

EH FUCKER, YOU BANGED MY CAR. BE RESPONSIBLE AND PAY UP OK! RM50 FIX WHAT? MCH.

I demanded RM200. The cost of fixing is at least RM300. Being the bastard he was (and still is), he wouldn't budge from the RM50 offered.

So Mr Policeman had to talk to us separately. What he told me was basically to accept his RM100 (yeah, he was offering RM100 after the policeman spoke to him). If he were to saman him, RM300, that fucker can still 'buat rayuan' and in the end pay only RM100. WTF!

It was not about the money then. My pride was at stake. I wanted justice man! I would rather have him pay up the RM300 fine and I don't get nothing, to be very honest. Because that would teach him a lesson for being an asshole. But noooo, there's such thing as reduced saman now.

So in the end I had to swallow my pride and just accept his RM125. I had initially reduced my amount of RM200 to RM150. And again, he wouldn't agree to that amount. CAN YOU FEEL MY FRUSTRATION YET? CAN?!

Mr Policeman said, if he didn't write (LIE) in his report that my car reversed, then I would win the case. So my thoughts at that moment were, if I were to bang someone one day, all I have to write in the report is that the person reversed and hit my car instead?!? So there you go, a tip for all of you out there.

But I know I can never do such a thing. If one day, I happened to bang someone with my car, I would take responsibility and pay up dutifully. Because at the end of the day, the only thing matters is that you did what you thought was right. But most importantly, are your actions answerable to God and yourself.

I know I was lied to, but that's ok. What goes around, comes around, I told that bastard. So for those of you on the road, if you see a Mitsubishi Storm BHG 4174 - STAY AWAY, because God forbids, if you got hit by him... my condolences to you as you would end up in his report as the person who hit him instead :)

d a v i d i a n i s m says:
no one bully my g

He had the gall to reply to my earlier SMS:
Angie, if you don't have better proposal to save both parties time, I will make police report after 6 pm.

My reply to that bullshit:
Mr Siow, I never asked for this accident ok! You were not attentive when you were driving is that my problem? Do I have to pay for your lack of attentiveness? Even friends of mine who looked at the car said it's definitely more than RM200. I'm not even asking much! Why are you making this difficult? If you want a proposal, then I suggest we meet up. Face to face.

I AM SO PISSED MAN! WHERE GOT PPL SO LOW-BRAINED WHO CAUSED AN ACCIDENT AND REFUSES TO PAY ONE???

So, people want to bang my car from the back, what can I do right?

So, that moron doesn't wanna pay me (only offered RM20 at first, then RM50 later) what can I do right?

So, I was determined to get at least RM200 from him, but he wouldn't cough it up, what can I do right?

So, according to DT, I should at least taken his RM50 just now but I didn't, what can I do right?

So, I have a deep dent on the back of my car now, what can I do right?

So, I is very pissed now, WHO CAN I KILL???

Yesterday evening I was at The Curve for dinner. While savoring my food, I saw this cute little boy, my guess he was about 4, who was so engrossed with what he was doing.

I was extremely bemused, so I kept staring at him. Guess what was he doing?

That little tyke was so focused. He was diligently stomping on those little blue round neon lights on the streetwalk outside the restaurants, that he didn't give a damn to what his pleading father was saying to him. "No, boy, it won't go away. Come on... let's go, mommy's waiting over there." He looked up briefly at his daddy, faced back down and his little feet continued to...

*stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp*

Hahahaahahha! Such a cute little boy.

P/S: Blue lights on the streetwalk can only be seen at night. Check them out when you're there the next time. But no stomping please. 

These days, I'm an angry, bad mood and short-tempered girl.

You know how they say when one falls in love, everything is beautiful in his/her eyes? Even the worst case scenarios will not affect the feel good radiator. So, something horrible happened, no big deal. Laugh it off, get over it and smile because...  You're In Love.

Heh.

Nah, doesn't happen in my case. Because no matter how happy the boy makes me feel, I do realized my newly-acquired frustration will not just go away with a mere warm hug or a sweet little kiss from him. Because, my friends, this problem has been eating me up inside... every.single.day.

Few new traits I've developed lately: Easily irritated, easily irked, impatient, constantly pissed off, have no tolerance for idiot drivers on the road and ... powerless.

I feel so powerless.

ENGLAND lost.

Nevermind, Brazil's next!

After attending a pool-side dinner party yesterday:

Boy: You wanna know what my colleagues said about you? *sheepish smile*
GIrl: *curious as hell* WHAT??
Boy: Don't wanna tell you.

&*@!*#!

He always does this to me! And he KNOWS it always irritates the shit out of me!!!

The next day (today):

Boy: You wanna know what my colleagues said about you? *stupid smile*
GIrl: *Mind thinking: KNN ask again* Don't want lah! You're not going to tell me anyway!
Boy: Heheheheh

5 min later...

Boy: My colleagues said.... you look like Korean/Japanese.
Girl: Really??
Boy: Didn't wanna tell you coz I know you sure kembang like hell one. Hahaha
Girl: Then then? Say lar, I Japanese or Korean mar.
Boy: Yeah, I said you're a Japanese.
Girl: Serious???
Boy:... a Japanese from PUCHONG.

Boy + Girl: Bwahahahahhahhaa!

P/S: Oh, today... 9 months *chuckles*

I am such a chicken I tell you!

Watched The Blair Witch Project last night on 8TV. Wasn't my idea of a great movie in my opinion. At the end of the show, I went "What? That was it?! Where's the Witch? How does she look like? Why don't they show her?!" Cehhh. Not scary one.

SO I THOUGHT.

I couldn't sleep the whole night. I didn't dare sleep on my left. I ALWAYS sleep on my left facing the wall. And my back will be facing my entire room plus The Door. What if something comes in from The Door at night whilst I sleep??? Grab me from the back or run a chilly hand over my shoulders, or or... *gulp* play with my hair??! Arrrgghhhh... I was scared

So I slept on my right the whole night (tried sleeping that is).

And you think that's bad? Wait till I tell you how'd I go to the bathroom outside my room when sunrise wasn't up yet. I erm, ran to the switches in the living hall, had those lights switched on lighting the whole place up before going into the bathroom.

So now, till the next couple of days, I am seeking refuge at someone's place

Stupid Blair Witch Project