She is just so effortlessly gorgeous.
Brad & Angelina at the Golden Globe Awards 2007

Ok, I just needed to get this off my chest.
Because it has happened to me one too many times lately!
3 F***king Mega Pissed Me Off Situations:

#1
You're on the road.
Stuck in a jam.
You pull your handbrakes up and patiently wait on.
Then all of a sudden, your eyes grow big and you gasp(!) because the dumbfuck moron infront of your car (either realized or doesn't realize it) is slowly reversing dangerously towards you.
So what do you do?
Many of a time, I would rather not honk and hope that in that nanosecond, he would realize it and immediately hit on the brakes.
But nooooo, not yesterday.
This dumbfuck of a driver was slowly reversing towards me on the LDP highway.
I honked once. Did he get it?
Nope, was still nicely reversing towards my car.
So, out of desperation, I blardy honked again but did he stop this time?
NO! HE WAS STILL FUCKING REVERSING TOWARDS ME!
At that time, he was really really REALLY gonna hit my car.
My heart skipped a beat and I HONKED LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW.
Then, that ass of a moron gently hit the brakes, wound down the window and lit a cigarette up to smoke.
KNN!
Very funny is it!?!
I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT!
I seriously counted, there was like a 5 - 7 seconds of him reversing towards me.
Asshole had a reflex of a 80yr old.

#2
This probably applies to the ladies, not too sure about the men.
You're in the fitting room trying on some clothes.
The fitting room is not exactly the type where you can latch on and have it locked up from inside.
It's the cloth type where you have to pull both sides of the cloth towards the innermost of the fitting room in order to prevent people from peeking through.
So, I kena this like a few times already.
And hello, IT IS REALLY REALLY BLARDY IRRITATING.
I would be in my bra & panty or sometimes braless but with a panty, happily trying to put on some top or skirt and...
All of a sudden, there will be this lady yanking open the cloth of the fitting room, exposing me semi-naked to the world and me?
Too shocked to feel pissed yet. I usually freeze for awhile.
WHICH PART OF THIS SCENARIO OF A CLOSED FITTING ROOM MEANS THAT THERE IS ACTUALLY SOMEONE IN THERE WHICH THESE PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND??!
I mean come on...
Even if you've been waiting for a long time, and starting to doubt whether there is someone in there, a little courtesy of "Hello, is there anyone in there?" would suffice.
No, I'm sorry but "Sorry I didn't know" just won't do it for me.
I'd usually yell from the inside, "HELLO DO YOU MIND!" or when I'm extremely irritated depending on how exposed I was, I'd yank the cloth slightly open and look at her and say something like this...

Me: Excuse me, which part of this covered fitting room that you do not understand that there is actually someone in here?
Moron: Oh sorry, I didn't know.
Me: Won't die if you ask first you know?

*yanks back cloth back*

#3
There are 6 elevators in the office. With 3 facing the other 3.
So, say if you get there first with these few other people.
You can't tell which elevator will arrive first so you just wait at any sides of the elevator.
Say, me and the few other people waited at elevator A.
Then, about 1++ min later, another small group of people arrive, waiting for the elevators too.
And they are standing at say, elevator C.
So, finally the elevator arrives and it arrives at D. 
People that were waiting at A rush over to D only to find that they (and me) have to deal with...
THOSE INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS WAITING AT ELEVATOR C WHO CAME MUCH LATER, SQUEEZING THEIR WAY IN TO ELEVATOR D.
Completely and totally ignorant to the fact that we were waiting there first, they just barge right through in!
Animals!
So, in elevator D, there are already some people in there, so plus those morons, the whole elevator D is filled to the brim.
And we, the first group waiting there have to wait on for the next one.
Mimie got so pissed once, while the door at elevator D was closing, she gave out a loud "INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE! MENYAMPAH!"

*lol*
I like her. She doesn't give a flying fuck whether whatever she says will offend you or not.
Piss her off and that's it.
That's my kind of girl

So you tell me, how do you deal with people like these?
Don't tell me the breathe in, breathe out *ooooosa* crap
Doesn't work for me.
I just do it my way....

BLOW.

You know how someone said something the other day and it shocked you big time but you calmly collected yourself up and successfully pushed the issue to the back of your mind but only to realize that it's still there?

Today, is exactly that.
It came out today.
No, make that, GUSHED OUT.
Like waters rush out of a burst dam.

Common goals in life.
A friend mentioned that to me just now.
"Do you both have common goals in life in the first place?"
To a certain degree, I would want to believe that we do.
But at this point in time, I don't think you know mine very well.
Or as you do best, choose to ignore.

So how do you deal with it?
Push it back to the back of your mind a little further?
Suck it all in and just let it be?

Common goals in life - Knowing and Having are two very different entities.

It was a nice cozy night over dinner at La Bodega last Saturday.
The newly-wed JC called us up for dinner and I thought it was just some simple chinese dinner.
I had already imagined in my mind some lok lok action - a round pot in the middle of the table containing hot boiling water, me holding a stick of si ham, waiting to dunk it in for 5 sec and dip them in yummy red hot chili and and...
Then, *pfffft* all hopes are dashed.
Mr Tay announced that we were heading to La Bodega.

EVEN BETTER I SAY!

Got there at 8.20 to find JC, Tina & bf were already there.
We had interesting impromptu chat topics here and there.
From:

1. IBM (naturally)
2. to diving trips and how hard it was to book the tics via the current Air Asia promo
3. to JC's future plans
4. to EPL *yawn*
5. to David Beckham earning $1 mil per week in LA Galaxy
6. to Ronaldo's disastrous faux pas hairstyle aka Shao Lin monk's hair
7. to how our parents used to punish or beat us (which was hilarious!!!)
8. and to what cartoons we used to watch when we were kids

I'm going to talk about item 7 and 8.

JC as a kid:
- dad used to whack him with a belt.
- but that stopped when JC was big and tall enough to place his hand onto his papa's head and that poor man couldn't see becoz his head was facing downwards and arms were flailing all over trying to hit pesky JC.
- if you can imagine this well, it's actually quite hilarious.

Mr Tay as a kid:
- being a smart ass since small, he found escape when dad was chasing him with a rotan --> he ran around the car.
- when mom was chasing him in the house, he ran around the dining table.
- his dad had a VERY FUNNY way of punishing him

And I quote Mr Tay:
"My dad would draw a CIRCLE on the floor and asked me to sit inside the circle for a certain period of time. So, I just sat in there and kept staring at the clock and when it was time's up, I jumped up and dashed away!"

OMG, I couldn't stop laughing at this because it was so cute! I mean what a way to punish your kids.
Knowing Mr Tay who cannot sit still and has very little patience, it was really hard for him to sit within the circle!
But he obediently sat on. Hahahhahahahaha!

Me as a kid:
- I got my caning doses primarily from my mom (dad never whacked me, coz he damn sayang me)
- my mom used clothes hangers ok (plastic and metal ones)
- and I used to wonder how is that I do not get the rotan just like every other kid
- JC and I both agreed that hangers leave imprints on your body (a temporary patterned swell), he got whacked by hangers as well

Sounds familiar???
Did YOUR parents cane you when you were small?
If yes, how bad lethal was it?

We then moved on to cartoons and kids' programs.
OMG, I swear we were such cartoon junkies!!!
Each of us named a cartoon and ALL of us went, "Ya ya ya!"
The list of shows mentioned:

• Thundercats
• Power Rangers
• Transformers (omg you should see how excited the guys were talking about this!)
• Jem and the Holograms (my favorite! JC, being a guy could sing the theme song ok)
• Carebears
• My Little Pony
• Mask Rider
• Captain Planet
• He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
• Ewoks
• G.I Joe
• Smurfs (Mr Tay's question: Why is there only ONE female smurf aka Smurfette in the WHOLE community? So she serviced all the smurfs?) Damn sick I tell you.

So, were you a cartoon junkie like us?
How many on that list can you strike a 'yes'?
I found more which we did not mention that night here *click* 

And what's up with the kids' shows these days?
SpongeBob Square Pants?
Barney????????

My MSN status today:

The Purple One messaged me:

Seriously this is the first time I hear someone refer raisins as nipples!
Hahahaha!
So, anyways from that conversation, I was inspired to list down the things that both Mr Tay and I like / dislike.
Macam sorting out our differences la 
And here it is..

Sigh... we make such a 'lovely' couple.

So, ever thought of listing down the differences between you and your partner?
Try it, you'd be pleasantly surprised looking at the neverending list and might start to ponder on the reason of why you are still happily in love with him/her.

"Opposites attract because they are not really opposites, but complementaries"
Sydney J. Harris

Ok, this SMS just came in fresh from The Ex.

1st sms - Hi... would you mind terribly telling me what you put into the steamed fish you used to make?

2nd sms -... btw, it's 4 years and 9 days since we first spoke. how time flies... hehe

OMG! I dunno lah.
Seriously dunno whether to be irritated or ketawa gila babi!

By the way it's:

- Dory Fish cut into halves, marinated in chopped garlic, onions, sesame oil, pepper and black pepper granules (garlic + onions + black pepper granules to be pounded on the mortar)
- Rub all over fish
- Sliced tomatoes
- Tauhu cubes
- Steam

No need to add water on fish because, while steaming, sauce from fish marinade will flow out.

I will do this exact steamed fish for Mr Tay this weekend.
Hah!

My mom's continuous threatening efforts to have my piano sold away is scaring me

She claims, she wasted her money sending me to piano lessons and not putting my 'certified piano tutor' status into full use.
She insists I should give piano lessons during my free time.

But I digress.
As far as I'm concerned, I have put them into some use someway or rather.

Primary 4 - 6, I was playing piano live during school assemblies every Monday.
Well not every Monday, as being a prefect, I had to take turn with the other prefects to slowly raise the stupid flags, inci demi inci, while songs were being sung.
Negaraku, another song, another another song and school song.

I remember a classmate of mine used to ask me.
"Hey aren't you scared shit having to play the songs on the piano LIVE every Monday? One mistake and the whole school can hear it!"

Back then, prefects take turns weekly to berikrar and raise flags. But I had an added duty which was to play the piano accompaniment.
So, I told her, I was even more scared during my rounds of the berikrar session.
You know how when you hold your right palm up and declare your rukun negara?

My gawd, it wasn't even just the 5-liner thingy of Kepercayaan Kepada Tuhan, yada yada yada.
It was the whole excerpt! Which you have to say like every 3 - 5 words then pause and wait for the rest of the students and teachers to repeat after you, and then you continue.
I got so tensed and gelabah I could practically pee in my panty!

Here I give you my most dreaded Monday duty during school assemblies:
NOT READ. BUT PAINFULLY MEMORIZED.

Bahawasanya negara kita Malaysia mendukung cita-cita hendak mencapai perpaduan yang lebih erat di kalangan seluruh masyarakatnya: memelihara cara hidup demokratik: mencipta satu masyarakat yang adil di mana kemakmuran negara akan dapat dinikmati secara adil dan saksama: menjamin satu cara liberal terhadap tradisi-tradisi kebudayaannya yang kaya dan berbagai-bagai corak: membina satu masyarakat progresif yang akan menggunakan sains dan teknologi moden:

Maka kami rakyat Malaysia berikrar akan menumpukan seluruh tenaga dan usaha kami untuk mencapai cita-cita tersebut berdasarkan atas prinsip-prinsip yang berikut:

Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan

Kesetiaan kepada Raja dan Negara

Keluhuran Perlembagaan

Kedaulatan Undang-undang

Kesopanan dan Kesusilaan

Can just die of stage fright then! Somemore must declare outloud over the mic + PA system.
Have any of you guys been through this before?
Or is it just me???
Possibly one of the most traumatizing moments during my primary school years.

Back to piano.
I was even contributing towards the school choir team back then.
Every week, few times a week, I religiously stayed back after school hours to practice with the choir team.
I could still remember the choir teacher, Mrs Koh - some very garang looking monsta teacher who happened to be our Guru Muzik.
She would be punishing those poor helpless students who failed their music classes.

Remember how we used to have Teori dan Praktikal in the Kelas Muzik?
Praktikal was playing the stupid REKORDER which I've always played "Mary Had A Little Lamb" with my right hand. Ha ha.

Stupid rekorder.

And teori exams for the students were hell but a breeze for me.
Musical notes of any musical intrument is the same.
So imagine at Standard 4, I was already in my Grade 6 in piano playing.
So, hehe, full marks all da time

Out of school, I have also played for my friend, Anne's church performance.
Their pianist backed out last minute due to chicken pox so I was asked for a favor which I gladly jumped in!
Loved playing in a band while the whole hall worshiped!

So yeah mom, how can you say I didn't put my piano-playing skills into good use?
Heh
Told her she must not sell the piano although I have not played in years.

MOM: Why??? I still can get back some money what.

"Because Ma, in a couple years more, my future daughter will be tinkering her little fingers away on those black and white keys."

That shut her up, for now.

So pretty!
More reasons to make yourselves a baby

I discovered something over the weekend at Batu Pahat with the boy few weekends ago.
And it wasn't something to be proud of.
In fact, it was actually quite embarrassing.

Considering that I am into designs and arts, having an opinion or two on advertisements or company logos / brochures / flyers, etc. is nothing new to me and to the people around me.
I can be pretty critical, when the whole layout or concept sucks.
But I am also full of praise for great designs and advertisements.

Few weekends back, I was startled by my 'blindness'.

Boy & Girl visited the newly opened Carrefour in Batu Pahat.
Having bought a pink top storage box for herself, 2 ice creams for Boy's sister and Boy each and Pringles (original), Girl decided it was enough and was good to go.

And as they were leaving the parking area at Carrefour:

Girl: Gosh, don't you think Carrefour's logo suck?
Boy: Why? Normal la.
Girl: No no... see properly. Damn ugly.
Boy: Errr... it's normal la. Nothing to shout about.
Girl: Like, I don't even understand why they created such logo. One red arrow pointing to the left and the blue thing that looks like a wau (malay's version of kite) points to the right. Like wtf???

Boys' eyes grew huge. Like really HUGE.

Boy: Errr, bi... do you REALLY see a Red Arrow and a Blue Wau?
Girl: *nods non stop* Uh-huh! Damn ugly right? Doesn't make any sense right?! Don't know what the hell were they thinki...
Boy: *interrupts* OMG, you are so blind!!!
Girl: What? What?!
Boy: Can't you see??? It's a "C".
Girl: Huh???? Where got? Red Arrow and Blue Wau lah!
Boy: See properly. Look closer.

OH MY GOD.

I have never been so shocked eversince the episode on Nip/Tuck when this patient claimed she wasn't sure why her pet dog got wild and bit off her nipple when actually, she was slapping peanut butter on her boobs and p***y to tempt the dog to lick her as her husband was always away for work.

Anyways, that aside. Yes I was shocked!
Because, as I looked closer and longer, the sillier I felt when the "C" was slowly appearing before me.
OMG, it was a "C" all these freakin' while!
And to think I was happily kutuk-ing the Carrefour logo eversince I was 19.
*horror*

My deceitful eyes: The Red Arrow & The Blue Wau

The "C" circled in black

Not satisfied and in an attempt to drag more victims down with me, I promptly called my dad to ask him what he saw in the Carrefour logo.
"It's a 'C' lah!", replied dad without hesitation.
Mr Tay was laughing his ass off all the way back home after that.

Never felt this stupid infront of Mr Tay before.
Boy - 1, Girl - 0.

I just got back from lunch with Sue and Mimie.
Was at Hakkakaya and I had curry laksa.
The curry laksa was B L A H.
It wasn't spicy enough therefore no kick at all.
As usual, I ordered my meehoon + kuey teow combo and as usual, it is ALWAYS the meehoon that dominates the bowl of noodles.
Is there an unwritten rule somewhere stating that whenever someone orders meehoon + keuy teow combo, you must have MORE meehoon than the keuy teow???
And I'm not talking about Hakkakaya only, this happens in every noodle stall or shop.
So, in the end, my meehoon almost dried up my curry soup.
I only managed to finish half of the soggy noodles.
Not nice. At all.

Anyways, I need google search wizards!
I've been searching for a site that teaches or shows you the way to tie a ribbon / bow.
And it has to be ribbons/bows on clothes.
Like, bow on skirts, bow on the back of dresses, etc.
Ladies you know what I am talking about right?

On the search box I typed:
Attempt #1: how to tie a ribbon bow
Result: sites on crafts and sites on how to tie bows for flowers

Attempt #2: how to tie bow
Result: sites on how to tie men's bow tie.

Attempt #3: how to tie fashion ribbon (yes finally I realised maybe I should include the word 'fashion')
Result: sites on ribbon tie bracelets and more florist bows

And lastly, I found it: How to tie a ribbon (duh!)
But it wasn't a very clear one, to me la that is.

So, you search wizards out there, if you could find me a clearer diagram of how to tie a ribbon, do drop me a note.

Thanks!