last night i woke up in the middle of the night crying. as in, crying really hard with tears rolling down my cheeks, wetting the pillow.
i dreamt that mr tay 'died' 
everything was so vivid and felt so real! mr tay kept asking me how did he die, i told him i don't know. i just remember that he died in my dream and i was in possession of his car and his Oakley sunglasses. and each time i look at them, i cry incessantly. i kept thinking, 'gosh, i would never ever get to talk to david anymore!' and this absolutely scared the bejezzus out of me.
also, in that dream i kept searching for familiar faces who are friends of mr tay but NONE of the people i see in the dream are friends of mr tay, thus making it even harder for me to share my sorrows. my heart was actually pounding when i woke up.
startled and got jolted up last night, i hugged mr tay with my big drops of tears wetting his back and it woke him up. i told him about my dream in between sobs and he laughed! and mumbled something about me being a, 'silly girl, silly girl' 
stupid dream.